Stop Being Trampled by Your Commitments
Photo by Africafreak.
You’re standing on the savannah, the morning sun rising over the horizon. A morning wind lifts your hair. A bird caws from a nearby Baobab tree. All is calm and beautiful. In the distance are tiny specks, so far away they look like ants. You’re enthralled by them, and are told — by some disembodied voice — that they’re a herd of animals. And even better: you get to ride all the animals you want, just as soon as they’re close enough. You jump at the chance. Why not?! It all sounds so fun! And you’re so excited by all these opportunities! You say yes to all of them. As the sun climbs higher in the sky, the tiny specks grow bigger as they approach you. Then they’re almost upon you. Too late, across the mirage of shimmering sunshine, you realise that each tiny speck is a 7-ton elephant. And you’re about to get trampled under hundreds of colossal feet.
A (terrible) spoof horror safari movie?
Well, maybe.
It’s also exactly how many entrepreneurs and leaders treat their commitments.
Meet my favourite term when it comes to the art of discernment: distant elephants.
It’s easy to say yes to an opportunity when it’s a tiny speck on the horizon. Something far away that you can think about closer to the time. Something you’ll figure out when you get there.
The problem is, of course, that distance is deceiving.
When you say yes today to an event happening six months’ from now — and then an invitation in four months’ time, a presentation a couple of weeks’ later, a personal project that will be a multi-week commitment, and then yes to a stream of neverending life admin — you get trampled underfoot.
This isn’t the way it has to be.
When you’re being trampled, you’re not riding any of the elephants. In other words, you’re not fulfilling any of your commitments well. Even if you’re the type to double down under stress and just … push … harder, and knock it out of the park, you pay some kind of price. Your health, your sleep, your peace of mind, your sanity. You might end up backing out of commitments at the last minute, and damaging your reputation. If this pattern continues, you may burn out.
So how do you avoid being trampled on?
Ask yourself these four questions:
1) “Where are my biggest elephant herds today?”
Take a minute and jot down the main areas of your life which generate commitments (either ones you choose to take on, or ones that are just part of life — like taxes).
Working in your business (clients, sales, operations, finances, etc)
Working on your business (strategy, planning, leadership development)
Social life
Family
Personal projects
Life admin
Volunteers
Health, leisure and wellbeing
This helps simplify the vast horde of elephants into categories that you can start to get objective about.
2) “Of these, which 1-2 herds feel most overwhelming?”
For me, I tend to say yes to too many things that help me work on my business. I love strategy, planning, creativity, and research, so it’s easy for me to bite off more than I can chew, and then stall all my projects because I’m doing too much. I also say yes to personal projects, like planning someone’s party or creating an art piece, which tend to experience ‘scope creep’.
(Side note: many of us underestimate life admin: life insurance, holiday planning, passport applications, recycling printer cartridges, weeding, etc. These don’t tend to be distant elephants — they’re probably all gazelles — but it makes the savannah busier, so we don’t have as much space to ride the elephants. We need to remind myself of their presence so I can better judge how much time and energy I’ll have.)
Now you know which herds are most troublesome, you know where to focus for future discernment.
Moving forwards, whenever you’re presented with a tempting opportunity, ask yourself:
3) “What would I do to create this opportunity if it weren’t already here?’
This comes from Greg McKeown’s brilliant book, Essentialism.
McKeown argues — rightly — that successful people often become victims of their own success. You’re known to be competent, so more opportunities come your way. And in an attempt to keep leveraging your success and building on your foundation, you yes say to too much. Just because someone’s offering you something doesn’t mean it’s right for you right now.
4) “What trade-off am I willing to make?”
Again, back to Greg McKeown: there are always trade-offs in every decision (we just pretend that’s not true). We’re kidding ourselves if we think we can ride a hundred elephants at the same time.
Every YES is also a NO.
What are you willing to say no to? What are you willing to deprioritise in order to take this on? In other words: what trade off is worth making?
5) “What are my HECK YES parameters?”
One option, when about to be trampled, is to start an urgent NO diet. But if we just focus on saying NO, we miss what a heartfelt, gut-level, full body YES might feel like.
When I was a new coach, I said yes to any professional project that came my way. I was hungry for experience and learning, and dove in head-first. This opportunism served me well. I grew my network quickly, honed my craft, and built confidence. But five years in, I can’t operate like this anymore. I’d just get trampled.
Here are my current HECK YES parameters for new professional projects:
it must be aligned with my mission to help climate startups scale their impact. This means it needs to be linked to climate, entrepreneurship, and/or leadership development — ideally all three at once. If it only serves two of these three, I need to see how it will equip me to fulfil my mission in a different way.
It requires me to play in my Zone of Genius (coaching, facilitating, teaching, writing, creating, relationship-building) at least 80% of the time
I have the time, emotional and intellectual energy to fully commit to it
It compensates me in a way that feels satisfying. This isn’t always financial. I’m an active volunteer and offer limited pro bono coaching. But these opportunities pay me in other ways: wider impact, feeling better from having helped a cause I believe in, personal growth, deeper relationships, etc.
Once you have yours — a first draft is fine — evaluate new opportunities against this framework.
Discerning what your distant elephants are will mean you’re far more effective on the savannah, and you enjoy the elephants you do choose — with clear-eyed vision — to ride.
Something to chew on: Where do you feel least willing to follow your HECK YES parameters? And who would you need to become in order to do so? If you’d like support to help you break this down, reach out for an initial call.
This post was written in 12 minutes, followed by a few simple edits for grammar and clarity. It’s an active practice to transcend perfectionism and paralysis when it comes to my creative work.